being OUT. being LOUD. being PROUD.

Here I am putting pen to paper, or rather fingers to keyboard, after a long time. Why? Because it is time for me to share a part of me with you, in hopes that it might help someone else like me know they are not alone.

In recent times over a couple of years, I have come out to most of the people closest to me. People whom I felt could be trusted and could deal with the information I handed them. These included a handful of family and friends.

Obviously, it was not all rosy and pink.

Most people… most not all, have been very understanding, supportive and did not go into panic seizures. You know who you are, thank you and I love you all.

There were/are some who were/are rude and irritating and when push comes to shove well, you sometimes have to shove back.

Then there are those who want to remain ignorant to the fact, keep living in denial, and think they have it all figured out… You don’t! In reality you have never known me and you never will for as long as you deny the fact that is as clear as day.

So… why is it so important to come out?

Coming out is a very liberating, soul lifting experience. Simply because after years of living a lie and trying to be something you are not we finally start being true to ourselves and do not have to hide an innate part of our being from the people closest and dearest to us.

What I have come to learn is that somehow the coming out process never ends. There is always someone new who needs to be told. There is always someone who needs to be reminded, because people tend to conveniently forget.

I do know this though; no matter how many times you come out and regardless to whether the reaction is negative or positive, it still always feels excellent to be true to yourself.

A message to LGBTIQ who are still in the closet:

Do yourself and others like you a favor… Come out already.

As a minority, the silence not only kills you it kills us all. People need to know we exist. People need to know that they deal with us on a daily basis and we are not any different from heterosexuals. They need to see that we lead completely normal lives that do not affect them in anyway.

A word of advice for those of you who have never come out and plan to, be prepared to be bombarded with a string of questions. Answer them only if you feel comfortable, you are not obligated to answer questions that are too personal or abusive. Oh! Oh! And be prepared for the legendry question “when did you choose to be… mmm... ehem… gay” and the legendry reply “the same time you chose to be straight”

A message to heterosexuals in the dark:

It is not a phase and it is not going to change. This is who we are. We exist and have existed for centuries.

It is not a trend, oh my! what a difficult trend would this be to follow. Why in heavens name would you think we would be following a trend when it makes our lives so hard.

It is not the media. Golly, I should be straight as a ruler if it was media influence. Think about it, the only thing the media exposes us to 24/7 is heterosexuality and not homosexuality. I’m still gay!

Keep in mind when someone dear to you comes out to you and you choose to ignore it, you are also choosing to shut yourself out of important parts of their lives. Instead of being part of their life, you would instead be pushing them further and further away.

Open your eyes and open your mind. You will see that we are no different from you. You will realize that we love with our hearts just like you. You will learn that we can live together in harmony.